Many times I have had what I call “God Experiences.” I would like to share three of those that occurred during a very difficult time when our daughter fought and lost her battle with cancer.
A few months before this happened I had attended a Prayer Renewal Workshop. The leader stressed that honesty in prayer was more important than dishonestly praying for God’s will, as we likely had been taught to pray.
Having just learned my daughter's diagnosis, I walked down the hall silently ranting to God, complaining that I didn’t like what I had been told. It was not what I wanted for my daughter.
Then it struck me. Rather than praying for God’s will, I instead, expressed my concern and fear, and therein found comfort.
Years later during a guided meditation, we were asked to recall the most peaceful time in our lives. Those few minutes in the hospital immediately came to mind….
My husband’s job moved us to San Francisco. Gayle remained in our house; eventually having three friends living with her. Each had a dog.
I became concerned about what was happening to our yard and the carpets. I told God how troubled I was with all of this, but I didn’t know what to do about it.
While I didn’t hear a voice, I became very aware of being told to wait until June at which time everything would be all right. It was a strong enough message that I was able to let go of the problem. This took place in the early spring. By the time June rolled around, Gayle had moved into her own home. Problem solved!...
After a particularly difficult day of yet another round of chemotherapy and the ensuing nausea, vomiting, and tears of discouragement, Gayle confided that she didn’t think she could face any further treatments.
Driving home, upset and feeling an urgent need to talk, I realized it was too late to call anyone. I remember hitting the steering wheel and saying, “I’ve got to talk to someone, God!”
I drove into my parking space and as I did my neighbor stepped out and asked how I liked the spot light that her husband had just installed.
I told her that I thought it was great, and asked, “Would you like a cup of coffee?”
As it turned out, she provided me an attentive, empathetic ear. Years earlier, she had taken care of her sister-in-law who suffered the same cancer as Gayle. She truly understood what I was going through.
Do I believe a God Exists? You bet I do!
by Peg Tyo
Excerpts from Flies in the Buttermilk